Rise of the Planet of the Beavers (Shooting Script)
Aussie: You Maniacs. You blew it up
Aussie: Alright, we must begin to discover what is left of humanity
Manimal: Beavers, Beavers Beavers?
Aussie: Ugh I still can’t understand you manimals
Man: Beavers, Beavers He-llo
Aussie: Crikey you said hello
Man: Discover humanity
Aussie: Yes, do you have any ideas
Man: Follow road
Aussie: Good idea mate. We should gather our supplies and go
after discovering the tower
Aussie: This must have been what was turning humans into manimals like you. We should probably camp out here manimals
Aussie: Yes manimal number one, after the apocalypse the beavers must have taken control of the planet somehow. I should probably give you manimals names so I don’t have to keep calling you manimal 1 and 2
Man: Me Alexander
Aussie: Hello Alexander, I’m Mortimer
Aussie: You look like a Jack. We’ll just call you Jack
Man: How you survive? No become manimal?
Aussie: Well before any of this happened I was on an expidition in the forest with my guide…
Guide: Why are we sitting in a metal tube?
Aussie: Look at this view of nature! It can’t be seen quite like this anywhere else.
Guide: How about on top of the sewage pipe instead of inside it?
Aussie: That attitude is why you are my companion and not the other way around. Why are you wearing that hat anyways? No aliens are coming today friend.
Guide: I’m not wearing the tin foil crown because I’m paranoid of alien abduction, but there is a local legend around here.
Aussie: Legend you say?
Guide: It is said that some time within the next couple of weeks, judgement day is coming and humanity will soon fall to a higher power.
Aussie: What a load of garbage!
Guide: That is why I wear this crown. It is said that the key to survival is the donning of a crown and Queen.
Aussie: You’ve got a Queen?
Guide: No. Queen as in the rockband. Do you feel that tremor sir? The apocalypse is here!
Aussie: Why are there so many beavers down there?
Guide: The prophecy is coming true!
Aussie: Crikey, are you alright
(Guide starts to walk towards him)
Aussie: What has happened to you
(guide tries to attack him)
Aussie: What is going on
(aussie runs away)
Aussie: Then I was just trying to survive like the rest of us. Let’s go see if we can use this tower to radio any survivors
After in tower
Man: Before boom, beavers beavers, I looking for beaver so I live apocalypse…
After Wilson is painted
Man: Then find you
Aussie: How is it that this came to be in the first place? Beavers are not intelligent enough to do something like this!
Aussie: Alright, then what’s your story mate
Manimal: Ahem, beavers beavers beaver. Beavers beavers. Beavers beavers? Beavers beavers beavers beavers, beavers beavers.
Aussie: Sorry mate, we just don’t understand
Aussie: I think I’ve finally got this thing working! Mayday, mayday. This is a distress signal going out to any survivors that may be out there.
DISTORTED VOICE: You my friend are a pleasant sound in this wasteland. There’s a colony of survivors in the city close by to here.
Aussie: Which way to the city from the radio tower?
DISTORTED VOICE: I’m sorry I don’t know that area. If you do make it to the city then you can find us in the ruins of the McDonald’s.
Aussie: I suppose we head to the city now mates.
Aussie: The beavers have been here, keep moving
after big beaver poster
Aussie: Get your stinkin paws off me you damn dirty beavers
Man: Help we
Aussie: I’m coming
Old man: I see, the chosen one approaches
Man: What are you talking about chosen one
Old man: The prophecy. One of you is the chosen one who will restore peace and balance to this world